I'm alive

Moderators: shutout, evs' Boytoy, Irish Mike

1.Juggs » Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:31 am

I checked myself into a rehab where phones/internet weren't allowed. Got out this afternoon.
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User avatar 2.evs' Boytoy » Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:41 am

Good to see you, man. Folks been asking questions. As I said before, stay strong and take care of that little girl.
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3.gatorbreeze » Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:49 am

Hang in there Juggs. Be strong.
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Remember when you were young, broke and pissed off at the world? Well, you're older now.

4.Juggs » Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:51 am

I'm going straight into intensive outpatient therapy to keep me out or an insanely expensive 30 day inpatient. 3 hours a night, 3 days a week.

This shit is putting a serious hurting on my bank account, but I was going to end up dead, sooner rather than later. Just lucky I have amazing parents.
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5.9508 » Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:18 am

Bud. I hope this legit helps you. We are pulling for you. But you have to do this for you.
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User avatar 6.Panamag8or » Sat Sep 07, 2019 4:14 am

Take care of yourself, man.
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7.Supes44444 » Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:35 am

Dude. I’m sorry you are going through this. But in the long run this is the best for you. I’m proud of you for taking these steps. Stay strong brother. We are here for you.
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User avatar 8.Irish Mike » Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:37 am

Fuck man. Do whatever you need to do. Take care of yourself.
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9.Tommy » Sat Sep 07, 2019 10:48 am

10 yrs sober last month, it hasnt been hard to do in years.
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User avatar 10.angrigator » Sat Sep 07, 2019 12:12 pm

Glad for you. Hope it sticks.
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User avatar 11.RIP » Sat Sep 07, 2019 1:32 pm

Damn man. Glad you're getting help.
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12.Fishon » Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:27 pm

Keep fighting Juggs. You got this
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13.rampart » Sat Sep 07, 2019 2:49 pm

Glad to hear from you juggs, keep fighting man.
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User avatar 14.Gator Rio » Sat Sep 07, 2019 3:31 pm

Proud of you Juggs. Stay strong, you can do this.
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15.Juggs » Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:12 pm

10 yrs sober last month, it hasnt been hard to do in years.
It's not alcohol craving that's the problem for me. I can go sit at a bar and eat, not even think about ordering a drink. I don't wake up thinking about booze. My problem is I'm an emotional wreck and eventually I just want to numb it by any means necessary. It took me years to admit to myself that I ruined my marriage and family with drinking. And when I finally did, I couldn't handle it. Full blown meltdown. I'm honestly surprised I woke up last week.

And thanks guys (and gal)

Go Gators.
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User avatar 16.angrigator » Sat Sep 07, 2019 5:47 pm

10 yrs sober last month, it hasnt been hard to do in years.
It's not alcohol craving that's the problem for me. I can go sit at a bar and eat, not even think about ordering a drink. I don't wake up thinking about booze. My problem is I'm an emotional wreck and eventually I just want to numb it by any means necessary. It took me years to admit to myself that I ruined my marriage and family with drinking. And when I finally did, I couldn't handle it. Full blown meltdown. I'm honestly surprised I woke up last week.

And thanks guys (and gal)

Go Gators.
Your counseling will help you. Talking about yourself is hard.
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17.9508 » Sat Sep 07, 2019 6:08 pm

10 yrs sober last month, it hasnt been hard to do in years.
It's not alcohol craving that's the problem for me. I can go sit at a bar and eat, not even think about ordering a drink. I don't wake up thinking about booze. My problem is I'm an emotional wreck and eventually I just want to numb it by any means necessary. It took me years to admit to myself that I ruined my marriage and family with drinking. And when I finally did, I couldn't handle it. Full blown meltdown. I'm honestly surprised I woke up last week.

And thanks guys (and gal)

Go Gators.
Your counseling will help you. Talking about yourself is hard.
But worth it. You can absolutely come through this in a better place. We all make mistakes, we all damage our relationships. Understanding it, owning it, learning from it and moving forward are what matters. You can do it.
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18.Juggs » Mon Sep 09, 2019 1:40 am

I went to church this morning :shock:

And I enjoyed it :shock: :shock:
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19.GFY » Mon Sep 09, 2019 1:51 am

I went to church this morning :shock:

And I enjoyed it :shock: :shock:
Good for you. Maybe you can get that drunk Irish Mike to go with you.
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20.Tommy » Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:19 am

Honestly, most of us alkies use alcohol to hide us from the wolves in our mind. On the right path, talking about the past decreases its hold over you, ain’t for pussies though, tough stuff
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21.Juggs » Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:47 am

Honestly, most of us alkies use alcohol to hide us from the wolves in our mind. On the right path, talking about the past decreases its hold over you, ain’t for pussies though, tough stuff
That's the fucking truth. I've noticed the first 2 or 3 weeks of withdrawal that my emotions are all out of whack. Shit gets to me that never would otherwise. And I don't mean just things that should, but stupid shit too :lol:

The dreams are also much more vivid in withdrawal, so I wake up depressed as fuck. Rehab was great when I was just on valium the whole time :lol:
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User avatar 22.Cus » Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:47 am

I went to church this morning :shock:

And I enjoyed it :shock: :shock:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Wait, what kind of church?
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23.Juggs » Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:16 pm

I went to church this morning :shock:

And I enjoyed it :shock: :shock:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Wait, what kind of church?
Non-denominational Christian. Half the service was a band doing their Christian rock thing, other half was the pastor and a lesson/story. Very casual, mostly young to early middle aged, white and black. The cool part was there was very little divinity talk. It was just a message. A lot of it was God, a little was Jesus. Through coincidence or fate, part of his discussion was like he was in therapy with me at rehab. The same f'n message. Why man fails so often is because some of us think we have control, or try to, over every aspect of our life and we often try to go it alone. And it doesn't work. We need other people, we need support, and there's an element of life you have to accept you just can't control.

It was enough to get me to go back next week. The way some things were put to me in rehab changed my perspective on things a bit.
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User avatar 24.Cus » Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:19 pm

I went to church this morning :shock:

And I enjoyed it :shock: :shock:
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Wait, what kind of church?
Non-denominational Christian. Half the service was a band doing their Christian rock thing, other half was the pastor and a lesson/story. Very casual, mostly young to early middle aged, white and black. The cool part was there was very little divinity talk. It was just a message. A lot of it was God, a little was Jesus. Through coincidence or fate, part of his discussion was like he was in therapy with me at rehab. The same f'n message. Why man fails so often is because some of us think we have control, or try to, over every aspect of our life and we often try to go it alone. And it doesn't work. We need other people, we need support, and there's an element of life you have to accept you just can't control.

It was enough to get me to go back next week. The way some things were put to me in rehab changed my perspective on things a bit.
As long as you're getting better and stronger that's all that matters. Good work bud.
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25.Juggs » Mon Sep 09, 2019 12:23 pm

Yeah I'm never going to believe in divinity, but the divinity aspect isn't what's important about it (for me)
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